Anyway, Baby J is considered an American because she was born in America, right?. That's the rule as far as I can tell. And that means that she is just as much an American as I am. After all, we were both born on American soil. Or am I more American than she is because I'm informed on issues and can vote? Does that make me more American? Is anyone more American than anyone else?
Politicians love to paint themselves more American than their respective counterparts with subtle allusions. Ranking people according to their American-ness smacks of MacCarthyism. Being an American is kind of an either/or proposition. There aren't any gradients. I guess the right thing to say is that both Republicans and Democrats and all the sundry other parties are all equally American. And that they are all as American as Baby J.
I guess this would all make patriotism a sort of self-esteem linked to a person's nationality. After all, if all Americans are equally American, the only accurate way of differentiating between us is how we feel about our American qualities. If you feel good about yourself and your country, then you're a patriot. If you don't, then you're a...I don't know...a commie leftist pinko dirtbag? And if you have no clue like Baby J, then the whole point is moot.
So what have we learned today? Um...that's a hard one. Maybe it's that since nationality is generally based on birthplace and patriotism is a vague brand of civic pride, then no one is more or less American than Baby J.
In conclusion, pooping yourself and crying are equally as American as apple pie and baseball. And since all babies poop themselves and cry, they all exhibit American characteristics.
Maybe "American" is a meaningless term, denotes only birthplace and who you have to pay taxes to.
Listening To: Intuit by Ramona Falls
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