I feel a lot better now.
Monday, August 31, 2009
I had to buy a book for an online class I have to take. It was $140.00. On the way back from the bookstore, I got stuck in traffic. I was in a pretty foul mood when I got home. Baby J sat with me. Smiled. Drooled. Tried to stand up. Fell on her butt.
I haven't been a parent for too long but what I learned right away is that being a parent is all about worry. I worry morning, noon, and night now.
- Is she sleeping enough?
- Is she eating the right foods?
- Am I too rough when changing her?
Couple that with the crap you hear in the news and it's enough to make you want to build a bunker somewhere.
- Will my child be abducted like that Jaycee girl in Lake Tahoe?
- Will the South Koreans launch a nuclear warhead at the nursery?
- Will the Taliban capture her and force her to wear a burqa?
Theoretically, I could spend the rest of my life worrying my way from one thing to another as I chase after Baby J trying to put another sweater on her so she isn't too cold. But I guess she would grow to resent my being overprotective and I would miss out on enjoying all the cool things kids do because I'm too busy fretting. So I wage war on worry. It pushes itself into the forefront of my brain and I push it back. I watch 60 Minutes and it gains ground. I blow raspberries on my baby's belly and the worry shrinks back a bit.
I'm very curious to see what I'll be like when my year long stint as a stay-at-home dad is over. I have this nightmarish vision of my future self in my head. I know it's not going to happen but I see myself wearing denim overalls with Winnie the Pooh embroidered over the pocket on the front. I have jowls and I'm so out of shape I can't chase down Baby J as she scampers about from electric socket to electric socket.
Early this morning, a bright yellow bus chugged up the hill and collected the neighborhood kids. First day of school for them. My wife's at work today. Baby J's down for a morning nap. It seems as good a day as any to begin my stay-at-home-dad journal.