Down Dog

Baby J is getting more and more control of her body. This means more mobility and new sorts of movements. Recently, she's been striking a pose that resembles a yoga position called down dog. She places her big head on the floor, holding it steady with her stubby little arms, and then pushes her legs out as far as they can go so that she forms a triangle.

The first image is a drawing of Baby J in her new triangle position. The second is a yoga instructor helping someone acheive the down dog position. And, from the looks of it, yoga instructor is a pretty kick ass career choice.

Listening To: Clarity by Jimmy Eat World

Pooh Photos

Each month, we take a photograph of Baby J beside a plush Winnie the Pooh. Now that she's nearly a year old, it's fun to look back at these Pooh photos and see how our baby has grown. At the first month's photo, she's the same size as Pooh. By the ninth month, she's bursting out of the frame. You can hardly even see Pooh.

Sometimes it seems to me that time has flown by at warp speed.

I remember when Baby J was first born, all squishy and weird looking, Pooh sized - we'll call that version of her Baby A. And I know how she looks now, portly and jolly, dwarfing Pooh - Baby B. When I try to reconcile these two versions of her in my head, I think my brain automatically assumes that a very long time must have passed between Baby A and Baby B. How else could such dramatic differences be achieved? And since I remember everything so clearly, I think my brain distorts the procession of time making it seem to have flown by quickly.

If I look at all the Pooh photos, it organizes all those memories I have into chronological order and lines up all the intermediary stages between Baby A and Baby B. It shows regular intervals and a reference point for measuring change. Time decompresses and her first year of life no longer seems distorted.

It's kind of the same with these daily blog entries. Looking back, the past has a regular rhythm to it. It makes me think that when parents bemoan that their kids are growing up too fast they are really saying that they didn't do enough to keep their memories well organized.

If you ever feel that the past is getting away from you, I recommend you get a camera and a plush Pooh doll. Or start a blog. Or do both. Every second of your life, the future is draining into the past through a tiny hole in the hourglass we call the present. Do what you can to keep things in perspective.

Or don't do anything. It's your choice. But a plush Pooh doll does give you something to smile at every now and then.

Listening To: Silver by Jesu

FIRSTS - Walking

Baby J is officially walking. She's been taking wobbly, hesitant steps for several weeks now but crawling has been her primary method of locomotion. Tonight, however, she spent most of her time on two feet so I'm making the call. She's walking.

Listening To: Unknown Pleasures by Joy Division

All Bob Marley, All the Time

As reported here, Baby J has become quite adept at manipulating and old stereo we have in the living room. She once had a preference for Fergie but recently, it's been nothing but Bob Marley. There are three CD's in the carousel: Music to Make Love to Your Old Lady By by Lovage, Loose Grooves and Bastard Blues by Tommy Guerrero, and Greatest Hits by Bob Marley. And Baby J consistently picks Bob Marley. I thought about switching the discs around and see if she still goes for reggae but I thought she might just get confused. So I'm leaving it how it is for now. But if I have to hear No Woman, No Cry one more time, I think I will cry. I'm totally sick of that song. It's way too long and full of double negatives. Drives me nuts.

Listening To: Solar Powered Robots by Fred's Fear

Cheerio Consequences

As reported here, Cheerios have become a new favorite for Baby J. She eats scads of them at each meal and clamors for more. Well, as I am finding out, she doesn't always eat these scads of cereal.

After we're all done eating and I remove her form her high chair, a few renegade Cheerios that didn't quite make it into her mouth fall to the floor in a quick flurry. A mini hailstorm of uneaten cereal. Sometimes, after she's been plopped back in her play area, still more Cheerios tumble out from the hidden folds of her outfit. We find errant Cheerios all over the place now. A few times Baby J's even had them in her diaper (whole Cheerios that have somehow slipped under her onsie and into her tightly fastened diaper!). More often than not, Baby J is happy to pinch one up off the floor and pop it in her mouth. I haven't quite figured out how to discourage this yet.

The stray Cheerios are about the same color as our carpeting and, on more than one occasion, I've stepped on these teeny land-mines plunging bursts of crunchy powder deep into the carpet fibers.

Just like anything in life, the introduction of Cheerios into Baby J's daily routine has pros and cons. As of right now, there seem to be more positive benefits to them than negative consequences. I can deal with a few devious diaper Cheerios so long as Baby J keeps enjoying their conventional counterparts at mealtimes.

Sleep Poop

Becoming a parent opens your eyes to a whole world on new things. But one of the most bizarre in my experience has been the sleep poop.

Baby J goes to sleep with a fresh, clean diaper. Later, I'll go in to wake her up and she has a humungous dirty diaper. Apparently, at some point during her nap, she poops in her sleep. It's the strangest thing. I can't understand how it happens. How can she sleep so peacefully with a heavy, sodden diaper?

Baby butts work differently than their adult counterparts. I guess I should consider sleep poop a blessing. It's not like she's waking me up in the middle of the night for a diaper change. Maybe sleep poop is a good thing.

FIRSTS - Snow

We took Baby J outside to play in the show today. She was nonplussed, just kind of sat there. It wasn't as fun as I thought it would be.

Cherrios

Baby J loves Cheerios. It's great! Whenever she's the slightest bit unhappy, we can give her Cheerios and she's totally cool. She could eat them all day. She could be a little Pac Man chomping down corridors of Cheerios.

Listening To: Transformer by Lou Reed

Eeeeeeeeeeeee!

We try to eat our meals at the same time Baby J gets hers. As a family we try to share a peaceful mealtime. However, Baby J hates it if you are actively eating when she is not. Here's a snapshot of a typical meal.

Step 1: Place Baby J in high chair

Step 2: Sit down beside her

Step 3: Give her some of her food

Step 4: Give me some of my food

Right around step 4, when I start to eat my own food, she freaks out and kicks her little legs furiously. I know it's wrong but I can't help laughing when she does it. She bangs her feet on the underside of the tray and howls the letter "E" like Mini Me from Austin Powers 2.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Maybe she thinks I'm eating her food. Or maybe she just doesn't like that I'm not feeding at that particular moment. Either way, this pageant happens regularly at mealtime.

Listening To: Together Again for the First Time by Pulley

FIRSTS - Tooth

Yesterday, I was feeding Baby J some of my applesauce which I was eating with my adult sized spoon. And, each time I gave her a teeny taste on the end of the metal spoon, I heard a small plink noise.

Today, I gave her some of my oatmeal with my metal spoon, and again I heard the plink. I guessed that this sound meant one of two things. (1) Someone had stolen Baby J away in the night and replaced her with an android, a synthetic robot designed to look like a human being of flesh and blood but which has the metallic inner-working os a regular robot and what I was hearing was the hinging mechanism in her artificial jaw. Or (2) Baby J is finally getting her teeth.

As it turns out, she is finally getting a tooth. My wife, the official referee on such matters, confirmed it today. After 11 moths of gums gums and more gums, our little rugrat has finally cut a tooth, a whole tooth, and nothing but a tooth.

Listening To: Clutch by Clutch

Lovies 3

Have you ever had those Fiber One bars they sell in the supermarkets?

If not, you should try one. They're tasty and, what's more, they provide an ungodly amount of daily fiber. There's also a Fiber Plus knock off brand that's good too. But I'm not here to blog about these tasty morsels. I'm here to talk about their wrappers.

Baby J has always preferred strange lovies (like coffee cup lids and Kleenex Pocket Packs) and now she's added a new item to her bizarre collection of beloved bric-a-brac, the wrappers of Fiber One bars.

The other day, she got her hands on one and would not let it go. She turned it over in her little fists. She slurped on it a day spreading drool everywhere. Whenever she can get one, she plays with it exclusively.

At first I was a little worried but they don't tear, they don't contain and pieces she could choke on, and they don't have any allergens on them. So now she plays with trash.

My neighbors have a little girl about the same age as Baby J and their living room is decked out like some sort of baby Las Vegas with lights and sounds and sirens. I feel very fortunate that Baby J only needs some tissues and a few bit of refuse to be happy. Saves us a ton on batteries and little light bulbs.

Listening To: Greatest Hits by ZZ Top

Phantom Food

I noticed that when I feed Baby J, my jaw moves involuntarily as I watch her eat. With each new spoonful that I offer her, my mouth opens. And when she clamps down to slurp the food off the spoon, my mouth closes as well. It's like I'm eating phantom food.

I've tried to resist doing this but it happens quite automatically. If I don't fully concentrate on my mouth at that moment, it goes right back to eating air. And it doesn't just happen to me. When other people feed Baby J, they do the same thing regardless of whether or not they have kids of their own. It's kind of funny to watch. We're feeding her but taking imaginary bites of our own as we do.

I'm guessing that this sort of thing happens anytime people feed babies. I doubt it's a phenomenon localized solely around my daughter. It must be some universal parenting thinggy we all do.

Next time you have the occasion to watch someone feed a baby, watch their mouth and see if the try to eat phantom food.

Listening To: Talking Book by Stevie Wonder

Cat Food

Since the moment she started crawling, Baby J has been dying to get her little fists into the cat dishes. My wife and I are usually pretty quick to snatch her up before she ever makes contact with the cat food but today, under my watch, she finally made it to the promise land.

I knew something was up because it got very quiet all of a sudden. When I went to find Baby J, I found that Baby J had turned over one of the cat bowls and was plucking up the little bits from the floor. I'm guessing she ate a few pellets before I got to her. I'm hoping she realized that it's nothing special. Maybe now she's learned why we've been trying to stop her from eating the cat food all this time. Maybe now she'll leave the bowls alone.

FIRSTS - Thanksgiving

We've had a special Thanksgiving bib for about a year now that we've been waiting to use on Baby J's first Thanksgiving. It has a turkey on it and scattered autumn leaves. It's really no big deal but I'm very excited for her to wear it at dinner tonight. I'm not sure why.

But other than that, this Thanksgiving will be a first for Baby J in other ways too. It'll be the first time she ever eats meat. We've steered clear of meaty baby foods so far since they're pretty gross, resemble dog food. And since my wife is a vegetarian, there's never much meat in our house. Baby J hasn't really had the chance to sink her gums into an animal other than our cats. But tonight she will try some turkey!

Listening To: Unknown Pleasures by Joy Division

Lovies 2

As reported here, Baby J has made some curious choices when it comes to lovies. Usually, kids go for cute stuffed animals or fluffy blanket but not my baby. Baby J first went for a package of Kleenex Pocket Packs. Now, however, she's moved on and developed an affinity for plastic coffee cup lids.

Whenever we go out, I give her a handful. She bangs them together like cymbals. Or uses one like a mini steering wheel as she sits in her stoller or car seat. Licks them. Loves them. When presented with her toy box, she consistently digs one out and slaps it around.

Perhaps she is destines for a career at Starbucks.

Listening To: Between the Never and Now by Vendetta Red

What Do Rug Rats Eat?

Baby J puts everything in her mouth. Her particular favorite seems to be little clumps of carpet fibers that interbreed with the dust bunnies in our home. I'm not sure what you call these strange, soft, nuggets but I know for sure that they are not suitable for baby consumption. Part of my daily dad duties include fishing non-food items like these out of baby's mouth.

It gets me wondering...

What evolutionary advantage does this give us as a species? Isn't it a bad thing that we each go through a developmental stage where we put everything we find lying around into our mouths? Wouldn't that reduce the viability of our species?

It wouldn't seem so to me but humans have been around for a few hundred thousand years so I guess it serves some benefit. Maybe in a system so complex and complicated my feeble brain can't comprehend its intricacies the fact that I chase Baby J around removing balls of lint out of her mouth is actually counterproductive biologically speaking. Maybe it's a survival of the fittest sort of thing. If you're fit enough to get nutrition out of dust balls you'll survive better.

Maybe this is the case but I still won't let my baby eat household detritus she finds on the floor. Screw you evolution!

Listening To: Too High to Die by The Meat Puppets

You're so Smart!

Baby J was once looked like a little plucked chicken. She didn't do much but drain bottles and fill up diapers. As a newborn, she was precious and darling and wonderful and everything but she was also pretty boring.

Now, nearly a year old, she's a lot more interesting. She can do stuff more complex stuff like clap her hands and give you a high five. Now granted, by themselves these little hand gestures are not terribly interesting. What's really electrifying is that she figured out how to do them on her own.

I remember quite clearly when she was in plucked chicken mode so any new self-taught ability makes the contrast between then and now looks like Forrest Gump and Isaac Newton. It's no wonder parents all think their kids are brilliant. The go from zero to clapping hands without being taught to do so. They learn to roll over, push up, and crawl away without training. They cruise, walk, talk, grab your earlobe, and low raspberries all without your guidance. As far as I can tell, they need only your encouragement.

Which is good because every time she does something new, it blows my mind. Every time Baby J acquires a new skill, I can't help but cheer and tell her that she's a genius.

I say, "You're so smart!" about a hundred times a day.

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone said that to each other regularly throughout the day? Don't you think the world would benefit from some encouraging words?

Well, I'm going to start a trend right now and I hope you'll help me. I'm going to tell a bunch of people that they're smart and cool and awesome today. I'm going to start with you, dear reader.

"You're so smart! Also, you are very awesome."

Don't believe me, click here: http://www.amiawesome.com

Listening To: Embryonic by The Flaming Lips

Tricks

Baby J has some new tricks that I thought I'd record here for posterity.

1.) She can clap her hands now.

2.) She'll give you five if you ask her to.

3.) She can kinda sorta walk but so far it's only been a single unassisted step followed immediately after by a complete wipeout.

She also knows her name which I'm guessing makes her as smart as a dog at this point.

Out

Baby J has always been a delightful baby. Happy, friendly, and full of smiles. But recently, a pleading whine has worked its way into her vocabulary of mews and babbles. Recently, she's been feisty and irritable. I've heard that babies go through this phase around 10 months so I supposed she's right on target. But it's difficult to deal with.

Today, after a morning of disgruntled grumblings and whiney whimpers, we took a walk through the park. Her disposition changed dramatically. Once out of the house, she became cheerful and jolly again. Laughing at fallen leaves. Smiling at strangers.

I guess to combat crankiness we're going to have to get out of the house more and more. It's probably better for the both of us.

Forget the Barrette

In the ongoing struggle to tame Baby J's wild hair, we have suffered another setback. Once upon a time, we could use barrettes to pin back her bangs. But now, as soon as the barrette goes in, she pulls it out. Even though it looks painful the way she yanks them off her head, it doesn't stop her.

Where do we go from here? I'm thinking hair gel. Or maybe duct tape.

Listening To: 77 days by Kemuri